Thursday, January 27, 2011


I am bad at telling jokes; far worse at remembering them. But that doesn’t stop me from getting my daily dose of laughter. All I have to do is switch on the television or go to the nearest PVR. It makes me laugh at its stupidity. But when I’m done laughing I feel angry. Angry that some guy out there thinks I’m stupid and that any kind of fare can be dished out to me and I will have it gladly. I will have it for want of better things but you bet I won’t leave you a tip and I won’t visit you again.
But in case you were wondering that the people responsible for entertaining us are bleak minded phonies you are wrong. They insist that the fault is with the people of India. They don’t understand the good stuff.

I would politely refute that, though in reality I would love to stick my steel-toe boots up where the sun doesn’t shine to draw attention to my point.

Band Baja Baraat was a good movie. The common man, the uncommon man, their women and children all loved it. It was well made. It used the same ingredients that bollywood movies have always used; there was a hero, heroine, a few songs, weddings, love et al. But it used them creatively and more importantly it did not assume that people are inherently daft. In contrast when I saw Tees Maar Khan I could not help but notice the highlight of its intended comic appeal; the use of those three words (which feature in the title) in every dialogue of the movie. I would be a hypocrite for commenting more on the content of the movie so I’ll just put it this way. Moments where I was awake I found it a more interesting exercise to just pick my nails.

But Tees Maar Khan was miles ahead in entertainment value when you go by last year’s slated box office super hit.  Papa Roshan’s silverspoonful of bullshit for little Guddu; Kites. Despite the fact that I pride myself on being able to judge a movie by escaping the sweet offerings of a well made trailer, I fell for this one. What I realized after watching it was that Barbara Mori had some goods and these fellows just wrote a script around them. Amazing how little baby Guddu jeopardized his wedding for it. The box office collections coupled with an angry wife is what I call a double jeopardy.
The only people whose task becomes easier (also assuming a sudden spurt in the weight of their pockets) are people who judge these films for awards. Two good movies are made in a year. One of them takes all the awards.

Allow me to gently meander through the narrow streets of television. But fear not! I will not linger there long for the one most obvious reason. There is nothing much to see there.

I will however briefly comment on how an affinity for the assumption that Indian people are stupid is brewing behind the tube. My kind attention was brought to Emotional Atyachaar on UTV Bindaas. I saw a couple of episodes. I agree they would appeal immensely to the Sunday night yobs at theatres but it set me thinking. Where in the hell do they find cheaters every damn day? Is there not one single day when nobody can be found to accuse another of promiscuity? Going by the amount of time required to film, edit and broadcast a single show and then instantly find the next cheater and go into the filming, editing, broadcasting regime all over again and find the next one for the unending circle in such perfect rhythmic harmony maybe doesn’t ring a bell in someone’s head. In mine it does. In my head it says you are being conned into watching stuff cooked up by some incompetent jerk who stole an idea from Reality TV.

Guys in Bollywood (it’s only here that wood has something to do with an actor’s face) have nothing to give except two movies a year which seem so good because they help escape bad memories of what went before them and the awaited horrors of that which is yet to come.

To vindicate my stand all I will tell you is go watch a decent Hollywood movie if you want real entertainment or stream some shows of the net because personally I’m done feeling stupid.  I am contrite for the use of that word over and over but when I pay Rs 330*2+180*2+infinite taxes= my pops hard labor, the damn movie better be good coz when it’s not I feel STUPID.



Here is a guest blogger, Kanav Rishi Kumar, voicing his angst about the CWG scandal. Although its an old issue, but as long as its anti-establishment, it goes on our blog!

A dear friend of mine recently wrote a very detailed and long article focusing on the fact that an excess amount of money was spent on CWG and it could be used to develop those parts of our country which did not enjoy several privileges which are enjoyed in a metropolis such as New Delhi  instead of upgrading them to meet global standards to host the CWG . For all  all such people who pander to such holier-than-thou notions, I would like to share my thoughts . I use my right to express today and assure you  that I am being as polite as i can after reading an insult to my , sorry Our Country .... This is my reply to the article ....

I read your article titled 'Still Proud to be an Indian' ... it's very well written but it's not that simple ... yes a lot of money was spent but the money earned is in multiples of that ... further no money was spent as such on making life comfortable for outsiders ... who remind you treat us well, when we visit them on such occasions... but only for development .... again you pointed it out that why make what is good better... when you can fix what is wrong ... well honestly ... India is discriminated and looked down upon ... out of the several things which, hosting these games and doing them well will change ... the INR to USD power will be a greatly influenced  ... most importantly this is the first time in a long time .... India has been deemed capable for something international ... yes cricket is hosted in india a lot and is a big deal ... but fact of the matter is if you put your feeling aside for a minute you will realize it is the most insignificant sport to developed countries and rather small even ( the cricket world cup on global levels as compared to FIFA) .... why i am writing this is because I am proud to be an Indian and just expressing myself as you did ... this is not a debate of any sort ... but i believe if the success of CWG doesn't make you proud to be an indian... its because you are not proud to be an Indian ... your thinking is in lines, if not identical to the millions of people who get laughed upon by the world when they sit around people from developed countries ... and then try to hide ... run ... migrate abroad .... try to merge with people they don't belong with ... and try to forget India completely ... i personally believe it is a journalists job to say things not true ... persuade public against the government at all times ... but sit back for a minute and think ... what if CWG was not hosted in India ... USD gets more expensive... Our international airport was not even at power with the rural bus stops of other countries ... No recognition in ages ... there are so many more i am afraid if i start i will not be able to stop ... so i'll let your imagination lead you down that path .... now lets consider the other possibility ... if they did decide to host it and did not spend this much money , which was absolutely required ... along with the fact it would be worse then not hosting it at all ... it would bring shame ... insult ... disgrace to our nation ... our fellow Indians ... and would people like YOU who insult our nation and it's people by declaring your not proud of India ... sit at peace and say it was good they saved up the money and built roads ... gave drinking water supplies ... No sir i assure you ... you would then be one of the first to insult our beloved nation ... and would do nothing but look for a way ... a chance ... an opportunity to run away from this nation ... I'm sorry if this message is blunt and harsh ... but so was your post, an insult to every proud Indian out there ... just a proud indian ... and you sir ... just got served!